Monday, 16 April 2012

Farewell, my croquembouche



Question: when a dear colleague is leaving the office, what kind of cake should you bake for their farewell?

Answer: not a computer, because there isn't one in The Book. Because they didn't have computers back in the 80s. Okay, they did, but they were the size of an entire room, and even my enthusiasm doesn't extend to that.

You bake a typewriter. Of course! The prehistoric ancestor of the computer.


And when you show this picture to the lovely receptionist, she will point quizzically at the musk stick on the left-hand side and ask "but what is that?".

And you will explain that back in the olden days, when people actually had to type using typewriters and carbon ribbons and you know, paper, there was a thing called a carriage return and you had to use this lever to do it.

And when she looks at you a little questioningly, then you will explain that a carriage return is like an enter key. It takes you to the next line.

Understanding will dawn across her face like a bright morning.

Then you will feel very, very old.

(Before I stagger off to a rest home somewhere at the prospect of a) feeling very, very old and b) having to face the fact that I have MY OWN BIRTHDAY this week that will make me feel even OLDER, I'd just like to point out to everyone that it took me over half an hour just to get the exact right shade of blue icing for this cake. And then another half hour for the apricot. And see how the placement of every single little Smartie on my cake is exactly the same colour as the Smarties on the original one? That's how much I can about authenticity, people.)

The original. Note authentic buttery smear on the page.

My faithful reproduction

5 comments:

  1. Good work! Jack, the 3.5yo, says "Nice cake!"

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  2. Very retro! Musk sticks and cake - now that's a winning combination!

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  3. Oh, well done! Just think- you've taught someone something they didn't know AND made a super cake!

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  4. where on earth did you find the musk sticks???

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  5. You are great / funny writer. Great work!

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Say something sweet! Or, you know, not.