Welcome to the second in our series on home baking triumphs and disasters. Readers, you voted, and overwhelmingly you want this series to be called 'I Caked It Myself".
Well, what am I if not your slave in both the kitchen and on the intereweb? I am nothing, readers, nothing. I look forward to bringing you many more cakes in the series. Send me your photos and stories!
As My Slutty Dolly Varden touched so many of you this week (eeeuw, I don't mean in that way), I am proud to present an Even Sluttier Dolly Varden from my friend and colleague The Gormanista.
The Gormanista and her cousin attempted the Dolly Varden for her mother's birthday last year. They originally stuck Dolly's legs in so that it looked as though she'd fallen over, but the whole thing collapsed before they could take the photo.
Apparently there was a lot of red wine involved, and I must say that after my own experience, I wish I'd followed that example. Deep inebriation sounds like exactly the right state in which to attempt the Dolly Varden.
I think this Dolly Varden has a kind of Las Vegas Showgirl quality to her, don't you think? Her glittery top, the brassy blonde hair, the glassy eyes that hint at a night out on the tiles - yes, this girl was destined for the stage.
She came home in the morning and couldn't get the sequins to stay on her ridiculously enormous skirt, so she got Ken to stake them on instead, though he's such a dullard he only managed to get through half before she had to rush to the theatre. And she forgot her pink tulle overskirt, so her chocolate satin slip is showing.
But she's doing her best, readers, with that frozen smile and those upthrust arms. Like a gymnast after a particularly disastrous reverse half-twist off the parallel bars, this girl's hoisted herself out of the gutter and she's putting on her best face, ready for the curtain to go up.
The show must go on. Dance, Las Vegas Showgirl Dolly Varden, dance!